And When It Rains, You'll Always Find an Escape

I feel like crying.

I was happy. But earlier tonight I felt this bump of sadness. I do not know why.

Am I a broken person now? It is not a question of what I was, and what I did. But what I am. Though there were events today that qualified as something to be happy about, I feel that something is missing. And as I pour it in, I keep asking my self why.

In class, I do not even know what to say. But I learned a couple of things this week.


"There is no room for impression at the beginning."

I used to hope that I will get to know more about my classmates at the start, specifically the first days that came, but I am now starting to realize that there is a possibility that everything is cheap talk, that everything is pakitang tao lang, like false advertisement where in you get to receive information up front, but in reality the product is not how it was presented.

I feel bad, because I have been wanting a lot. I feel worse, because these wants came too early, only to give me a cliffhanger and a very big disappointment. I am crying right now, not because I am emotive and in depression, but because I do not understand why these things are happening at all.


"Emotions may hinder you from seeing the truth and seeking your goal."

Eagerness was what I felt when classes started.

There is actually a person, a classmate who inspires me a lot, like big time. She is a she, and that is all I can say right now.

As a teenager, I just realized that there is still room for improving my focus on important things in life. Anyhow I am happy with the things that happened, and I am excited, as usual, for tomorrow and the days to come.

Crying does not help. Understanding will, and I am, at this point, trying to understand these events and thoughts.

Similar to what I have done in my past, I will understand, and revert to a better life.


That is what you get when you let your heart win.

"That's What You Get", a song of Paramore, is a track that I am appreciating right now.

"That's what you get when you let your heart win. I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating."

I usually appreciate the lyrics more than the whole song itself. And this song makes me smile, because it gives the answers to most of my questions.

It is either we become happy or dive into a pit of sorrow, that is, if we let our heart win.


Full Potential

I have had many realizations recently.

"Not too early, not too late, but just in the right fraction of time."

I have plans in my head, and I hope that I will get to do them in the right time, and the right place. Only time will tell.